Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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