I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize