i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Vodka?
Forever.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
