Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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