yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
