His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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