Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
