how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
