Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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