kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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