he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
