my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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