I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
