he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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