it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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