I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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