Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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