hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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