So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Please don't give away my fajitas
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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