butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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