Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
