I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize