the condom got lost in my hair
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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