so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
