You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
