I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
