so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
