Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
