what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
