Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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