She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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