JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
