I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
