JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
