some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
