okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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