ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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