she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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