Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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