How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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