But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I pour the whiskey from now on
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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