I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
