we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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