Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
