But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
