She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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