i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
