Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
