She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
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so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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