is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
