gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
