You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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