Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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