sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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