She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
