5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
