Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize