end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
